I can do hard things

It's been a rough month around here. I've been having some health problems that we now know started about Christmas. I didn't have a clue what was wrong. I've just felt "off". There's been some other small issues along with the "off-ness" but nothing life threatening. I was just tired of not feeling well. When I talked to the doctor, they didn't seem overly concerned so I didn't get overly concerned. Insert last week. Certain things took place and suddenly people were concerned. They needed some blood tests. Then they needed an ultrasound. Suddenly we were being moved from room to room and doctor to doctor. Finally we were instructed to get ourselves to the hospital right away because I needed emergency surgery. (Not exactly how I had foreseen my Thursday evening.) We cried. A lot. We made arrangements, stopped at Target for some supplies and went to the hospital. Everything went fine. I should recover just fine. This experience has changed me though. In a way that I will never be able to explain to anyone else. I am okay, don't misunderstand me, just changed. Sometimes we just don't know what the Lord has intended for us and now I understand that sometimes we don't get a lot of time to struggle through the trial itself. Sometimes what is happening happens so fast that we find ourselves inexplicably altered and find the struggle in the aftermath. Maybe I'm crazy but I love when I fall on my knees and have to be reminded to rely on more than my own strength. There's something so exquisite and so profound in that kind of pain. I think those moments are when we really discover who God is because the rest of the time we aren't vulnerable enough to pay attention like we should. I have been constantly reminded that His pain is my pain too and I am not alone, ever. For me, that is truly something beautiful.