Rough Stuff

I am having trouble sleeping. I found out yesterday afternoon that the 3 year old little boy of a friend was accidentally killed last Friday. I remember when his mom was expecting him, when his dad blessed him in sacrament meeting, and most of all that he was born just shortly after my own sweet 3 year old boy. It has been all too easy for me to imagine what they must be going through. His dad lost track of him for a few minutes. How many times have I lost track of any of my own children for a few minutes?? I didn't freak out. I assumed that they had just run off a little ways but couldn't be too far. Especially at a family gathering. Especially at the end of a fun day. A day where it would be hard to convince my own little ones to leave. How my heart grieves for them. I am so grateful that they have the gospel and they've been sealed in the temple and that it gives them some peace knowing they'll be together again. But it makes me think.... how will they answer when someone asks how many kids they have? how will they feel when his birthday rolls around? at Christmas? at a now painful 4th of July? I talked to my sister after I found out. Her response was "This kind of stuff makes me want to crawl into a hole with my kids." Me too. Maybe it's a reminder for me to be a little kinder, a little more patient, a little more loving, a little less busy and a lot less worried about time.