If only....

As we were driving in to town to the grocery store, the following conversation took place:

Porter: (Hears song on the radio...)  Mom, this Lady Gaga?
Me:  Nope.  We don't listen to Lady Gaga at our house.
Porter:  Why?
Me:  Cause she does things that Heavenly Father has asked us not to do and I don't like that.
Porter:  She litters???

What a JERK!!

With everything that we have been through this last year, I think I have been reasonably 'tough'.  Converting this construction loan into a conventional mortgage has been ridiculous.  The mortgage company is located in California, land of the million regulations.  We live in Montana, land of almost no regulations.  The California mortgage company kept requesting things that don't happen in Montana, especially in a rural county like ours.  (Things I might mention, I had read all about when we were in the research part of the building process but then was happily surprised we didn't have to worry about.)  It was nit-picky and ridiculous and even our poor loan lady at the bank was getting frustrated.  But.... we finally got it taken care of to the point that they were satisfied and closing was able to take place.  Of course, as the cherry on top, there was one more hiccup the day before closing:  the title company suddenly needed us to come up with six months worth of property taxes.  And it was a LOT of money.  Nobody could figure out why in the world it was so much but we got it taken care of, only to find out during closing that the state still showed our little subdivided piece as part of the whole ranch so the amount of taxes was half a year on the whole ranch!!  And the kicker was that my sweet mother in law had already paid all, I repeat ALL, of next year's taxes so there weren't any due.  UGG.  Anyway... all the paperwork was signed and the loan funded when the lady from the bank called me.  The title company that they had used during the construction process had a problem with the access to the property.  When we had surveyed our parcel off over a year ago, we had been surprised to find that the piece we were going to use as an easement was actually the former county road and was still owned by the county so no easement was necessary.  The county planner was good with it.  The State of Montana was good with it.  Easy peasy.  But this title company decided they had a problem anad would not 'insure' access to the property.  Our awesome bank lady gave them a copy of the survey showing it but they still didn't care.  She called me and explained it to me and suggested that maybe I call and talk to this man.  So I did.  I asked him how we needed to resolve this.  He said that we needed to go back to the lawyer and have my mother in law grant us an easement on the 30 feet of county road that runs through her place.  I asked how it was possible for her to legally grant us an easement on property that doesn't legally belong to her.  He informed me that he didn't have time to educate me on all the legalities.  I also asked how it was possible that we have gone through all the things we've gone through and that this had never been a problem before.  He said that it had been on the title policy they had issued us from the very beginning and that it wasn't his problem that nobody bothered to read their policy.  (Issued "us"?????  The bank took out the policy not us.)  It continued this way for several minutes.  Everything I asked, he responded in a way that implied that I was an idiot and far beneath his well-educated self.  He said the only way to resolve it at all would be to do as he said and go through the legal process of the easement.  Well, let's just say that doesn't sit too well with this 9 months pregnant woman who has been through medical drama, surprise legal fees and documents, and has another impending medical bill.  The last thing I need is another stupid bill.  (Lawyers are NOT cheap.  I can hear the ka-ching, ka-ching just thinking about it.)  Well, I lost it.  I started crying to the point that I couldn't talk.  After several minutes of silence, he asked if I was still there.  I choked out that I was trying to compose myself, at which point, my 3 year old climbed on my lap and started asking "Why you sad Mommy?  Why you crying?"  He finally said that he had to go because someone was waiting for him and he didn't have time for this but to call him if I had any more questions. 

Yeah, right....